Life Is Not Supposed To Be This Way

So many of us have thought it. So many of us have said it. Through tears and trembling voices, we’ve raised a finger toward heaven and cried out the same eight words:

“Life is not supposed to be this way.”

We exclaim it during minor inconveniences and wail it during our heaviest moments of grief. We’ve prayed honorable prayers. We’ve walked obediently. We’ve watched God carefully tend to the lives of others while we sit in the wreckage of our own.

There is a sneaky gap that exists between our expectations and our reality in the “in-between.”

When we truly digest mercy, we come to know we do not deserve anything. Yet, the Lord created us with such delicate hearts that even with that knowledge, we are still susceptible to heartbreak—a heartbreak that often stems from pure motives for what we perceive should have happened for God’s glory.

How do we endure? What is the prescription for when life refuses to look the way we believe it should?

The Prescription: James 1:25

“But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”

— James 1:25 NIV

This verse is constructed so beautifully. It is simple, wise, and provides a clear map for how to continue.

We must first look intently into God’s Word. That means with eager attention, seeking time and relationship with the Spirit and God. Just a small invite to Him to breathe life into our eyes as they descend down the page. By calling it the ‘perfect’ law, James shows us that our heart posture isn’t just about an eagerness for time with our Father, but a humility that recognizes His Word as flawless. What we read cannot be objected to. Our opinions cannot change what it says. God’s Word gives us freedom because of it’s clarity. 

James then tells us to continue in it. The reading of the Word and the eagerness to be in relationship with God must be continued. We must endure in it. It is so worth it, friend. Even crushed, continue in it. Even guilty and caught in your own sin and shame, continue in it. Even heartbroken with people or the church, continue in it. Even let down by your financial status, continue in it. Even in the middle of your grief or depression, continue in it. Even in isolation, continue in it.

Next, we must make the sober-minded discipline to not forget. Why do we pray to the “God of Abraham”? Because we are remembering all He did for Abraham. 

We remember how the Lord redeemed Joseph from being sold as a slave by his brothers and imprisoned for a false sentence, only to make him the most important man in Egypt. When God seems silent and His hand seems removed, He shows up and out. 

We remember how the Lord used Rahab, a woman looked down upon in society, to save her family and eventually be in the lineage of Jesus. When our past sins and mistakes seem unredeemable, He still leaves the ninety-nine to come after the one. 

We remember how the Lord allowed Job, a righteous man, to suffer and lose everything, only to restore him by mercy despite his complaints. When our suffering doesn’t make sense, it humbles us to remember that He is saddened by suffering, too, and won’t leave our side.

After we do not forget what these stories and God say, we decide to do it. James says then that person will surely be blessed in what they do. What is it we are doing? Does obedience equal blessings? No. We know simply from Job’s life that obedience does not mean the absence of suffering.

We need to first understand what blessings we freely receive as born again believers. When we read in Ephesians 1, there are three spiritual blessings God promises believers: predestined adoption, redemption by the blood of Jesus, and the sealing by the Holy Spirit. These spiritual blessings encourage us to endure each step because they aren’t prizes we’re waiting for—they are promises we already possess and can always rejoice in. When we remember Gods Word and these spiritual promises, we remember we are always blessed in what we do.

But where else does His Word give us instructions on what to do?

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

— James 1:2-4 ESV

Trials give us the opportunity for God to do everything He desires to do in us. When it is uncomfortable and we are choosing to rejoice, our faith is increasing. That is a blessing.

“Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.”

— Romans 5:2-6 ESV

Suffering builds the endurance and character that blossom into a hope rooted in God’s love rather than our circumstances. As we trust Him through the pain, He reveals the depth of His grace and the beauty of no longer being blind to His presence—and that is a blessing.

“I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned, in whatever situation I am, to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble.”

— Philippians 4:10-14 ESV

When we see God use community and past faithfulness to meet our needs, our faith muscles grow, allowing us to rest in His strength and perfect goodness regardless of our circumstances. We can be truly content knowing He will always show up for our good, even in ways we never imagined. That is a blessing.

“You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”

— Psalm 56:8 ESV

Even when God feels distant and your situation feels beyond repair, He is intimately aware of every worry and is personally collecting every tear you shed. Crying brings Him close. You are never unseen or unknown because He keeps a record of your deepest grief. That is a blessing.

Keep looking intently at His Word, continue on, and remember every promise He has kept. Then, move into the hardest part of the ‘doing’—choosing to rejoice even in the middle of your suffering.

Love your friend who is enduring right along with you, Cass